Pacifiers: The Parenting Equivalent to Duct Tape

A lifetime ago, I had a fraternity brother who was obsessed with duct tape. This guy swore that duct tape could literally fix anything if applied in the proper fashion. His wallet was made completely out of duct tape and the majority of his shoes were composed of a sole and duct tape. He was an interesting guy who, thought it was truly cool to sport a Mullet and a thin scraggly mustache, which made him look like Lt. Dangle from Reno 911. His affinity for duct tape however, got me thinking...
Duct tape is extremely versatile, but it is never the permanent solution. You can use duct tape to fix anything from a leaky pipe to a broken tail light, but eventually you're going to have to find a more acceptable long term answer. Well in this brand new world of parenting, I have found that the pacifier has many of the same qualities as duct tape.

Who's Got My Passy?!

Like duct tape, I find myself using the pacifier,or "passy," as a stop gap to buy me the time to get Elly whatever she needs. If she starts fussing because its time for a feeding, the passy is my go to move in order to keep Elly happy long enough to make the bottle. If we're out in public and I need time to set up a MacGyver style diaper change, the passy is essential to giving me the quiet needed to focus on the task at hand. Executing the "MacGyver" diaper change is like trying to defuse a bomb. I can attest to the fact that changing  a dirty diaper in the stall of an Outback Steakhouse will test the nerves of even the most stoic man.
The pacifier is a key part of my personal "bubblegum and paperclip" solution but it's not a cure all. And like duct tape, the passy only works for so long. So here's to the pacifier and all of it uses. Although it may not be a permanent fix, life is much easier with a passy handy.

2 is a magic number...

This being the first post you might expect me to use the number one in the title, but the number two seems much more fitting given the story to follow.

Elly is two days short of 6 weeks old today. We dropped here off at grandma's this morning and the wife and I did the work thing. After work we picked up Elly from Grandma's and came home, which is where the fun begins.

Elly is in the middle of transitioning to formula with a little rice cereal mixed in. The process has made for some grumpy moments and some unpredictable diaper changes. She is only having a bowel movement about once every couple of days. There is plenty of noise coming from her southern regions, but actually getting results has proven to be quite the "crap shoot."

After dinner I was holding Elly on my chest for a little daddy daughter time, when suddenly, my sweatshirt seemed a little warmer in a certain spot... After I got out of the soiled hoodie I took Elly upstairs for a pit stop and crap if I didn't roll snake-eyes again! The wife was starting Elly a bath, so by process of elimination, I got door number two, change the baby... Well as you might have guessed by now I happened to get the lucky diaper that carried the ONE mess she makes every two days. We made it through the pit stop with the speed of a 6 week vet, and managed to make it down for bath time without incident.

The Cutest Pink Monkey Princess Towel of All Time

With bath time over, I stepped in to help with the drying off process, seeing as the wife hasn't grown that third arm yet. As I'm holding Elly, in the cutest pink monkey princess towel of all time, the wife decides to grab a quick snap shot. Elly smiles for the camera, which is such an exciting occurrence,  I promptly ignore the fact that she peed. Everywhere. Through the cutest pink monkey princess towel of all time, down may shirt, all the way down the legs of my loose fitting sweatpants to my toes. Only then did I realize what happened... For the second time in a two hour period.

Two truly is a magic number.